I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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