We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
