he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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