I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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