This girl is more easily done than said...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
