Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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