if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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