The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I want to stick my p in your. b.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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