Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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