idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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