Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
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If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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