Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
