Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
