We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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