Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
did you just send me my own nude
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
