so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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