Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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