I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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