Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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