Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
