i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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