Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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