i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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