i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
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She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
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It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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