I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
