Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
