I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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