no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
