Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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