i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
