I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
