I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
