He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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