I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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