We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
