Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
