we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We are two peas in an std pod
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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