sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I want a musical about memes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
