i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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