I think im going to throw up on grandma
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
