it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
this is an emotional support booty call
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have post one night stand depression
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