Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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