if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
