Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
