Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
barbara walters just said penis...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
