Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.