I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
