I'm lost and stupid without you.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize