I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
