I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
