I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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