What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
