Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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