i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
