...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
