Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
