There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
