In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize